it's a sweet little world

Last "first day of Kindergarten"...

I watched Elijah (my "baby") march into Kindergarten yesterday with absolutely no hesitation.  Having watched his brother and sister put their uniforms on, load backpacks and attend morning prayer for the last 4 years, he couldn't wait to be a part of it.  I, on the other hand, could have waited :).  But this is his time, and this is something I have learned:  Don't waste too much time crying over what can never be again.  No, there won't be another "first day of Kindergarten" in my house, and that makes me sad, but if I stay sad, I'll miss the "first second day of Kindergarten" and that's worse!!  Plus, how can I stay sad when I see the three of them all together in their wonderful little school, with their wonderful friends and teachers.  Well okay, just a little sad.  Maybe I can think of a reason to stop by....

who's on first?

oh boy, end of summer and start of school year.  Good news, bad news.  Are any of us prepared for either?  And where does the time go?  I have to laugh because what I need is a wife.  Someone to organize the household, buy uniforms, prepare a calendar....I know it will all get done, but I wonder at how.  I am comforted by the fact that I am not alone (at all!) and I am so thankful for the grace that surrounds me.  God bless us all!

The simple joys...

Outside of the general disorientation that I feel (why is no one calling from the store?  did all the breaks get covered? do I work tomorrow?) I am enjoying embarking on new directions, new inspiration and above all - the simple joys of getting to be a "real" mom again.  Guess what I got to do today?  After several meetings (one of which Elijah attended with me) I got to take Simon to the sports store to buy him cleats.  Now Simon is the type of child that struggles very little with needing to be the center of attention; he understands that the world cannot always revolve around him.  I appreciate that.  But soccer has become his sport, and when he began soccer camp this week, I knew his cleats were too small.  I also knew he had a big hole in one of his socks.  This did not make me feel like a good mom.  Each day, I would acknowledge he needed new equipment, but with life whirling around (we are channeling Sanford and sons with all the moving going on) I just couldn't make it to the sport store right away.  But today, I took him in, let him choose his cleats, bought new socks, went next door to get both the boys hair cut and made it to Shasta College in time to pick Emma up from Girl Scout camp.  Simple joys, big satisfaction.  I know I'm not wired for 24/7 helicopter parenting, but my goodness, what peace it brings to be a big part of their lives again.  Thanks for following along on the journey.  Smiles.

hamburger, 3 bananas and a bag of tomatoes...

I returned home last night after the last, full day of cleaning out and organizing and tying up loose ends in the store.  It felt strange to walk out that door for what was probably the last time, but I also felt satisfied and at peace - somewhat victorious to be moving towards a new chapter.  Driving home, the thought to stop at the market was somewhere in my brain space, but I hadn't been there in so long that, well, maybe I could make it one more night. 

During this busy and emotional process of closing the store, I have been blessed around every corner by friends and family that have taken my kids on while David and I run around like chickens with our little heads chopped off.  (Thank you Mom, Connollys, Tompkins, Smiths, Gasmans, Sally, Lexi, Krista, Samantha, Amber...)  What would we have done?  So on this particular night, I returned home to find our babysitter making a gourmet beef dish (Hamburger Helper) for my kids.  Now, this was baffling on several levels:  One, Samantha rarely made dinner and two, there were actually food items in the house to make dinner that I did not put there.  The kids had spent a glorious day swimming with my mom and she had returned them home to Samantha who was now calmly cooking a meal in my kitchen.  Something was up.

Emma solved the mystery by announcing that she had told Mimi (that's my mom) that there was no food in our house and that if they were returned home to Samantha, they would be stranded there with no food.  All I could do was stare at her.  The victory of the day was slowly slipping away.  So, sure enough, I called my mom and she confirmed the story.  Emma even gave her a proper tour of the fridge to prove the point when they got out to the house.  I opened my fridge and re-lived the horror of the moment.

Now understand, my mom had dinner on the table by 5:30 every night. It was a four course meal, included all the important food groups, and the entire feast was consumed, cleaned and done by 6:30 (this is both fantasy and mystery for me).  I was not even aware of the entire frozen food aisle until well into my thirties and the third baby.  So I thanked my mom, who seemed quite amused over the plight of her starving grandchildren, hung up, and turned to find Emma with a huge Cheshire cat grin spreading over her face.  "And there's bananas and tomatoes, too, Mom"  she says, in her sweet little voice, eyebrows raised, eyes twinkling.  And to think she's only 9.  Oh boy.

If it's not one thing, it's another....

So we finally got the store closed.  It was...well, I think I'll need to share more on that later...but after two weeks of telling everyone  I rubbed shoulders with about my website, it went down 2 days ago and every expert in the "tech-ie/server application error" world was baffled by it.  So here I am calling web hosts, servers, domain managers, site designers...pleading for mercy and help, with no idea as to what I really needed, except a website that wasn't broken.  See, if a storefront customer returns a pair of shoes that are defected - I know what to do.  If a new grandmother wants direction regarding take me home outfits - I'm in.  This....this is a whole new territory.  I have much to learn.  Thank the lord, we're back up and running.  And as I'm still cleaning my way out of the store, I just have to recognize "if it's not one thing, it's another...".  And now I need to go investigate why my 5 year old is screaming :)

Sweet Sunday

If there is anything that I truly love, it's Sunday.  Feels like the world slows down, things shut down early, and there is time just for reflection.  In our hyper-speed world, Sunday is the perfect day to get it all back into balance before we do it all over again.  The world may change around us, and certainly we need to evolve alongside those changes, but Sundays are like that solid, consistent thing we know about an old, true, trusted friend - they just sit beside you and let it be what it's gonna be.  In the constant evolution of life, it is good to know that good friends and Sundays exist.  There are six other days where the "sha-bang" falls where it may, but Sunday sets it all straight.  Blessings on each of us and the week that lies ahead....

In a childs mind....

One of the many troubling aspects of closing my storefront was..."What will my kids think"?  Trust me, Sweet Baby Jane has played an enormous role in their lives.  Elijah was only 2 1/2 when I started the project - he doesn't remember me doing anything else!  All of them have seen SBJ as their home away from home, and thankfully, they have come to understand quite a bit about running a small business because of it.  So last night we had a family talk about the future, and why the store was closing.  I braced myself for tears and hard feelings.  But guess what?  Emma agreed it was time, that I had been working too hard; Simon felt the choice to move to an               e-commerce site was probably the best thing; Elijah just wants the toy car he's had his eye on for months now.  And their suggestion for my future?  They all think I should work at their school since I don't have to be at the store all the time - perhaps as a lunch lady so they can always choose what they want!!  Oh...to be as free as a child.  I am always amazed at their ability to move through things with honesty and practicality.  And we ended the conversation with the decision that we would close the gate together, as a family, and then head for Red Robin.  Am I blessed or what?

Here we go!!

Wow...the first day of our march towards closing our storefront and heading into cyberspace!  Feels odd and exciting at the same time.  I will miss the smiles and stories shared with so many wonderful customers, but it's time to "do a new dance...sing a new song".  Everything in the store is 25% off and that includes a lot of the furniture and fixtures used throughout.  On Monday we move to 40% off and then a few days later the fun really begins with 50 to 75% off!  I'm in high hopes that our customers will stop in to say hi and enjoy the fun.  I'm off to the new warehouse!!  Have a beautiful day!